Reflections.......

It has been a while between posts, but with the long weekend and a perfect excuse to get away and enjoy some time with the family at the caravan and out in the fresh air exercising, we had to sacrifice any sort of reasonable phone coverage, which meant limited or no internet access for myself or Julie to post anything on our blogs or god forbid facebook.  How did we function back in the old days??  My kids ask this question all the time.

This weekend has been a good time for a number of moments of reflection.  But what is reflection and what do I mean by this?  Well there are a number of different meanings in the dictionary for reflection, but I chose 2 of them for this blog and for a couple of reasons which have been prominent this long Easter weekend.

Below are 2 of the definitions I took from Dictionary.com today.
re·flec·tion

·         Something reflected or the image so produced, as by a mirror

·         Careful or long consideration or thought.

Now there are many words in the English language that have multiple meanings and can be used in a number of different ways. No wonder it is so hard to learn how to speak it correctly.  But this word and the above meanings are important in the grand scheme of things when it comes to making changes to your life and realizing how far you have come or where you have taken yourself along the way.

I have read many posts on facebook, in the forums and on other people’s blogs about them not seeing the changes in themselves, which to be honest I completely understand.  I look in the mirror every day and struggle to see the changes.  This is because it is every day that we look at ourselves.  Even though I step on the scales everyday (yes I am a serial weigher and love it) and see the changes, it still makes it hard for me to think of myself as anything other than obese.  I think that the most recent big moments for me were buying a pair of size 36” jeans (never thought possible) and then hitting the Overweight BMI range on my 12WBT tracker.  This is something that I have been wanting to see for a long time and never thought it would happen as quickly as this, or at all to be 100% honest.  After seeing the Obese label there every week it just seemed normal. 

This weekend saw me meet up with a number of people I had not seen since early January at our caravan park.  Their reaction to my weight loss certainly put things into perspective.  I have lost 13kgs since I last saw them, which is a lot of weight.  That is my 4 year old.  I have toned up a lot and I am a lot fitter.  All of this was lost on me until I heard their comments.  “Oh my god, look at you. Wasting away to a shadow”.  Then another, “You will be that skinny soon you won’t cast a shadow”, which is all great to hear and only then did I stop and look at myself in the mirror.  I now have bones that previously were covered up by fat deposits, whether it be in my face (jaw, cheekbones, neck, etc) or my shoulders, collarbones and hips (much to my wife’s dismay.)  I had to look in the mirror to really see this and only after ebing told by people I only see every few months.  Julie tells me all the time how good I am looking and how proud she is of me, which is fantastic and I am so lucky to have hers and the kids support, but I suppose it becomes the norm.  When you hear it from people that you only see occasionally you stop and think or reflect for a second.  So seeing my reflection in the bathroom mirror this week (yes I checked myself out, is that VAIN?) I could actually see some changes.  My stomach is slowly disappearing, but my love handles are not as yet.  My legs are getting back the tone and definition which I had many moons ago (but my upper/inner thighs are still flabby, these are my version of bingo wings or tuckshop ladies arms), and I am losing the flab on my chest slowly, so losing my man boobs or moobs as my oldest calls them.  This sort of reflection is a very important one and something that I have struggled with during this last 10 months, of which today is 10 months to the day since I started on the 12WBT program and my journey to a new life.

 

I actually asked my daughter to take a photo of my last week (mid round progress shot) so I could compare myself to my original photo.  When I did this I was in complete shock as was Julie.  I was massive and we both couldn’t believe that we did not see it.  The photo is below for you to see what 10 months hard work can do.  This is 41kgs gone and still working hard to get the last 14-17kgs gone as well.

The second part of this weekend’s reflection comes from a couple of different moments.  First of all was when I was out on my bike on the weekend.  Yes we took our bikes with us, we do that sort of thing now.  It is the norm for us to factor in our workouts now wherever we go, including Sydney last weekend when we went away for our wedding anniversary.  Whilst on my bike enjoying the open roads around Cobram on a 43km ride I found myself looking back and remembering what our previous holidays at the caravan involved.  Most of that was a great deal of alcohol (beer and wine) as well as BBQ’s with far too much meat and potatoes as well as lollies, biscuits and chips to snack on.  Not anymore.  We have worked out meals in advance, taken our snacks, taken treats for the kids and even took our soda stream with us so we had an ample supply of soda water as well as tea.  We planned in advance how we could both do workouts, whether going for a ride, run or gym session and Julie even packed the scales to keep us on track.

The second moment was last night.  After a weekend away I had a few hours of telly to catch up on and part of that was 2 episodes of The Biggest Loser.  I sat down to watch it last night with my dinner, which was a falafel in mountain bread with lettuce and sweet chilli sauce, a pint of soda water and a pot of rooibos tea.  I actually had a chuckle when I looked at it, because we were like so many others that have commented that in the past they sat to watch the Biggest Loser whilst stuffing their face with chocolate and chips last year.  It just shows me how far I have come and my mindset has changed over the last 10 months and how I used to be one of those people (having actually auditioned for the Biggest Loser) but now I am on the right path.  I am not there yet and still prone to the odd lapse, but I own it now and get back on the wagon.  I enjoy my training, enjoy the fact that I have made an entire new circle of friends with the same goals and dreams and enjoy that my family are on the path to a healthier lifestyle in mind, body and spirit. 

This is the sort of reflection I am glad to see looking back at me.  It hasn’t happened over night, it is still a work in progress but now the reflection looking back at me is 51 kgs lighter and healthier than the start of 2012, so I am a happy man and getting happier by the day.