How Quickly We Forget....

After my post on Monday and the amazing feedback I received from my 12WBT buddies on both the forums and the facebook groups, I was reading back through some older posts and found the below post.  I thought it worthwhile just putting it out there again more so as a reminder to myself, but thought there might be some benefit for others, especially after so many said they were having similar issues as I did last round.  So once again, thank you to each and everyone one of you that took the time to either leave a comment on my blog, post a comment on facebook or the forums or even send me a personal message.  It was greatly appreciated and just further proof of why I love this program so much and the amazing support network we have created.  You all rock.

Here it is about Motivation:

1.    A quick check on the internet this morning gave me the below definitions of what motivation is:

2.     

3.    1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.

4.     

5.    2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

Reading these definitions tends it seems to fit in with what we have traditionally known as the definitions for motivation, but I beg to differ on this point.  When I started the 12WBT I would have said that my motivation for doing so was to lose weight, become healthy and generally happier.  This would fit in with the majority of those people in the program.  But is that really motivation?  Is motivation only used for positive actions?  This may sound a little askew but stick with me.

During my first round, one of Michelle’s weekly clips was about motivation and how she believed it was not what it was made out to be and it all comes down to mindset (I am paraphrasing here) which I listened to at the time but never really allowed to sink in.  This may have been due to the fact that I was in a really good headspace and flying with my weight loss.  So why am I thinking about it now?  As I have mentioned in numerous posts this round, I am in a funk, not travelling as well as I had hoped or expected and I have been trying to ascertain why.  Normally I would have said (in the past, the old me) that I was lacking motivation, but that is not true.  Surely after losing 24.5kgs in the first round and being on stage at finale I need no further motivation.  Seeing the results and receiving all the positive feedback should have spurred me on to continue.  That is exactly what happened and I came home from Perth determined to mash round 2 fulfilling both of the requirements above and obviously motivated.

This is where I believe Michelle’s words come true.  If motivation is a reason for acting or behaving in a particular way, why would I be motivated to take my foot off the pedal?  Whilst I have still managed to lose weight this round, albeit a third of what I did last round, I have still seen some old habits creeping back in which I am not happy about.  Why would I be motivated to allow this to happen?  I am not and don’t want it to be the case.  My point here is, that it is not motivation that makes us choose a certain path, whether it be to lose weight or to sabotage ourselves.  The reasons for acting in a particular way or supposedly our desire or willingness to do something or not do it are not down to motivation, it is down to the most powerful tool we have to correct these choices and behaviours.  This is probably the hardest battle in losing weight and staying on the right path.  This is all about MINDSET!!!! 

This in my opinion is what sets Michelle and her program apart from all other weight loss programs and this is what I am battling with at the moment.  Michelle frequently touches on how we need to work on our excuses, willpower, goals, robot mode, JFDI and why?  No other program makes you face your demons, understand why you are in this position.  They give you the food, the ethos and the books, but they don’t address why you are there in the first place.  If I had not heard this from Michelle I would still be making some excuse and stating that I lacked motivation.  Whilst I am aware of my issues and how they have hindered me this round, I am still trying to work out how to overcome them and get back to the ME from last round.  One of the biggest pluses for me has been surrounding myself with a lot of other 12WBTers whom are all amazing individuals and there as a huge support.  People like Dayna Manser and Bec Green that have been training with us and remaining positive even when I have openly told them I am struggling have helped me realise that it can and will be done and that I can get passed this.  On Saturday we had a workout out that was far from brilliant, but we still had a workout.  It was one step ahead of where I would have been if the old me had been there.  Then I see the encouragement and support I have had from online friends on the forums and facebook with words of encouragement after my 200km bike ride and I know I am heading in the right direction.  Add to this, I was totally blown away by some kind words and an entry in her vlog last week from Heidi Wilson (aka ToughMudder) who said I was one of support people and rocks in this program.  Surely not!!!  This lady is a true champion of this program, a role model for everyone and a winner in all sense of the word, but for some reason she has found me a help in the last 6 months.  Even when I am not travelling well I am somehow helping others, but now I need to make sure that I am doing the same for me.

After speaking to my wife yesterday and our recent blow out after our holiday, I want my mojo back.  I don’t need to be motivated as the definitions above explain, I just need to get off my arse and JFDI as I don’t need reasons for my behaviour to define who I am.  I have changed that mindset where I need a light at the end of the tunnel, now I know I can get up and take action, I just need to stop with all the excuses, and that is all they are and get back on the non fat wagon.

Look out round 4, I am going to smash you to pieces.  I want to be back on stage with a swagger and my mojo well and truly in tact.

This is What I need to Remember When I have my Doubts

Finale & The Fall Out!!!

This weekend gone saw the finale in Adelaide for the first time and 1500 crazy 12WBTer’s descended on the little country town for some fun and frivolity.  Finale weekend is always a great time as we get to catch up with friends made at previous finales and also online, some for the first time.  It is an amazing experience being in the same environment with people who all want the same thing, just to be happier, healthier versions of themselves.

I was fortunate enough to spend some quality time with some good friends from home, but also some lovely ladies from up north.  In my opinion they are the heart and soul of the 30+ crew.  Yes you Cathy Sheargold and Sarah McGee.  Also, at our Friday night drinks we were blessed to have the support crew from the 12WBT come and join us.  This was fantastic because so many of us have spoken to them online, but we now got to meet them.  For me the chance to have a chat with the amazing Amelia Burton, Lisa Donaldson (my biggest supporter outside my wife) and also Heather Howell, was great and set us up for an awesome weekend.  Thank you ladies for joining us, it meant a lot to us all.

The lovely Amelia Burton, oh yeah and ME.

Now, this post is not about the finale, what happens at finale stays at finale, so you will have to bear with me.  The reason I have mentioned finale is because this weekend has made me realise a few things about the last round.  I am open and honest with the fact that my last round was not a success and I have had battles with my mindset.  My nutrition was crap and the exercise not the best.  I can handle this, I own it and it is nobody else’s issue but my own to deal with.  I think the issue for me was meeting so many people on the weekend that told me they follow me and that I inspire them or was the reason they took up running or cycling.  The reason I say this is hard to put into words but I will try anyway.

the always supportive Amazing Lisa D & buddy Patrick

I have wrestled with this all weekend and I find it hard to sit here and type this up knowing I am going to put it out there.  In all honesty I consider myself a bit of a fraud.  The definition of fraud is shown below.  When reading that it seems very harsh and probably not the correct word to use as I have in no way deceived anyone, cheated or intended to gain an advantage.  I have put on weight this last round, but have not really mentioned it.  I buried my head in the sand and just went about my business.  People telling me I inspire them and they follow me made me embarrassed as I was not the person they think I am or the one they were being inspired by.  I am extremely embarrassed to think that this last round I put on 9kgs.  WTF???  How do you do that? That is a huge gain in anyone's eyes.

Fraud:

• Deliberate deception, trickery, or cheating intended to gain an advantage
•      An act or instance of such deception.
•         Something false or spurious: his explanation was a fraud
•       Informal a person who acts in a false or deceitful way.

So as you can see the above statement will show you just how hard it might have been for me on the weekend speaking to people knowing you had wasted 3 months.  I will not say I have failed, as this would not be true.  I still ran a half marathon in that time, which would not have been possible 12 months earlier.  What I did learn was that I can’t let up at any point and think I have this under control.  I am still in need of the program (maybe just the accountability, discipline and support) to some degree.  Yes it is something that I need to do by myself, but I also need to be part of an environment that is providing me with the correct vibes.  Thankfully both Julie and I are determined to smash out this round.  Back to the same way we were in our first round.

So sitting here writing this, wondering if I have the balls to post it, is a daunting thing.  I have in the past blogged about my mindset battles, but the last 12 weeks was more about just being lazy.  Yes I had some illness to deal with but that should not alter the mindset of what you put in your mouth.  I am using this post as a bit of a detox so to speak.  I am openly apologising to all those people that watched me, follow me, are inspired (for whatever reason) by me.  At no stage was I trying to hide from anyone the fact that I had put weight on, not been following the program this round, or doing anything to deceive anyone.  If you feel this way I truly apologise.  What I can promise to you is that I am going to smash this round.  No doubt about it.  I will be training diligently 6 days a week.  I will be staying within my calorie allowance on all days other than those that I am doing my bike rides.  I am allowing myself to blow way out on these days as I will be burning in excess of 3000 calories on each of these days.  I will also be drinking the minimum quantity of water needed.

Part of the problem.....Good burger though @ the Goody

This is my shout it out loud that Michelle asks everyone to do each round.  I own my decisions the last 3 months and vow to correct them and some this 3 months.  I need to get back on track and I will be at goal before Christmas.  Now that is what I put out there for everyone.  It has been hard to type this up but I can say having got it out there and written it up I now feel a sense of relief.  If you are reading it, I suppose I have been brave enough to post it.

Good luck in round 3 people and I look forward to catching up in Sydney as buff as GregP who looked amazing on stage on Saturday night, and pretty good at the workout as well.