Finale & The Fall Out!!!

This weekend gone saw the finale in Adelaide for the first time and 1500 crazy 12WBTer’s descended on the little country town for some fun and frivolity.  Finale weekend is always a great time as we get to catch up with friends made at previous finales and also online, some for the first time.  It is an amazing experience being in the same environment with people who all want the same thing, just to be happier, healthier versions of themselves.

I was fortunate enough to spend some quality time with some good friends from home, but also some lovely ladies from up north.  In my opinion they are the heart and soul of the 30+ crew.  Yes you Cathy Sheargold and Sarah McGee.  Also, at our Friday night drinks we were blessed to have the support crew from the 12WBT come and join us.  This was fantastic because so many of us have spoken to them online, but we now got to meet them.  For me the chance to have a chat with the amazing Amelia Burton, Lisa Donaldson (my biggest supporter outside my wife) and also Heather Howell, was great and set us up for an awesome weekend.  Thank you ladies for joining us, it meant a lot to us all.

The lovely Amelia Burton, oh yeah and ME.

Now, this post is not about the finale, what happens at finale stays at finale, so you will have to bear with me.  The reason I have mentioned finale is because this weekend has made me realise a few things about the last round.  I am open and honest with the fact that my last round was not a success and I have had battles with my mindset.  My nutrition was crap and the exercise not the best.  I can handle this, I own it and it is nobody else’s issue but my own to deal with.  I think the issue for me was meeting so many people on the weekend that told me they follow me and that I inspire them or was the reason they took up running or cycling.  The reason I say this is hard to put into words but I will try anyway.

the always supportive Amazing Lisa D & buddy Patrick

I have wrestled with this all weekend and I find it hard to sit here and type this up knowing I am going to put it out there.  In all honesty I consider myself a bit of a fraud.  The definition of fraud is shown below.  When reading that it seems very harsh and probably not the correct word to use as I have in no way deceived anyone, cheated or intended to gain an advantage.  I have put on weight this last round, but have not really mentioned it.  I buried my head in the sand and just went about my business.  People telling me I inspire them and they follow me made me embarrassed as I was not the person they think I am or the one they were being inspired by.  I am extremely embarrassed to think that this last round I put on 9kgs.  WTF???  How do you do that? That is a huge gain in anyone's eyes.

Fraud:

• Deliberate deception, trickery, or cheating intended to gain an advantage
•      An act or instance of such deception.
•         Something false or spurious: his explanation was a fraud
•       Informal a person who acts in a false or deceitful way.

So as you can see the above statement will show you just how hard it might have been for me on the weekend speaking to people knowing you had wasted 3 months.  I will not say I have failed, as this would not be true.  I still ran a half marathon in that time, which would not have been possible 12 months earlier.  What I did learn was that I can’t let up at any point and think I have this under control.  I am still in need of the program (maybe just the accountability, discipline and support) to some degree.  Yes it is something that I need to do by myself, but I also need to be part of an environment that is providing me with the correct vibes.  Thankfully both Julie and I are determined to smash out this round.  Back to the same way we were in our first round.

So sitting here writing this, wondering if I have the balls to post it, is a daunting thing.  I have in the past blogged about my mindset battles, but the last 12 weeks was more about just being lazy.  Yes I had some illness to deal with but that should not alter the mindset of what you put in your mouth.  I am using this post as a bit of a detox so to speak.  I am openly apologising to all those people that watched me, follow me, are inspired (for whatever reason) by me.  At no stage was I trying to hide from anyone the fact that I had put weight on, not been following the program this round, or doing anything to deceive anyone.  If you feel this way I truly apologise.  What I can promise to you is that I am going to smash this round.  No doubt about it.  I will be training diligently 6 days a week.  I will be staying within my calorie allowance on all days other than those that I am doing my bike rides.  I am allowing myself to blow way out on these days as I will be burning in excess of 3000 calories on each of these days.  I will also be drinking the minimum quantity of water needed.

Part of the problem.....Good burger though @ the Goody

This is my shout it out loud that Michelle asks everyone to do each round.  I own my decisions the last 3 months and vow to correct them and some this 3 months.  I need to get back on track and I will be at goal before Christmas.  Now that is what I put out there for everyone.  It has been hard to type this up but I can say having got it out there and written it up I now feel a sense of relief.  If you are reading it, I suppose I have been brave enough to post it.

Good luck in round 3 people and I look forward to catching up in Sydney as buff as GregP who looked amazing on stage on Saturday night, and pretty good at the workout as well.