7 Sleeps until Sanity Comes Back.......

Didn’t post a FFS Friday post last week as I was ill, but will make up for it this week.

Took me 3 days to get over the lack of sleep I had in Brisbane on my bike ride…..FFS

This also meant no exercise and very blasé about my food…..FFS

Somehow still managed to lose 400 grams….No FFS

Didn’t do any exercise at all that week, made excuses about legs needing a rest and being tired….FFS

Need to look at my pre-season tasks and get head in the right place for the coming months…..FFS

Smashed out a good workout on the Saturday morning with my Western Warriors buddies…..No FFS

AAAHHHH the DOMS from the circuit were something I haven’t felt in a while…..No FFS

Jumped on the bike for a quick 30km (1 hour) ride on Sunday morning…..No FFS

Love my bike and riding it whenever I can, especially as the weather warms up….No FFS

Not enjoying the thought of those stinkin friggin magpies for the next few months though….FFS

Had to start building my son’s school project last weekend.  Why do I come up with grand ideas and end up having to do it for him……FFS

One day I will let him do it for himself…..FFS

In actual fact, knowing me, No I won’t, I can’t help myself….FFS

So Sunday was spent at Spotlight for a while with daughter and oldest sun wanting to buy stuff…..FFS

I hate Spotlight, I hate shopping and even worse, I hate being there with 4 kids…..FFS

Back home and into trying to build a medieval castle……FFS

I have no idea what the hell I am doing, but as per usual I am winging it and Callum doesn’t know any different…..FFS

Monday night saw me go for my first serious run in 4 weeks…..No FFS

My legs were screaming at me from the 2km mark and were not screaming very kind messages to me…..FFS

I almost turned around at that point, but stuck it out, only 5kms to go……No FFS

Backed up the run with a commute to work on my bike on Tuesday, 67km round trip and felt great…..No FFS

My little man was in the paper this week from a photo shoot they took 5 weeks ago....No FFS

Daughter had an accident at school which has resulted in her front teeth being knocked loose and one of them needing a root canal in the future…..FFS

Not as though her ballet doesn’t already cause me to be in overdraft, now I have to pay for her dental bills, then enamels for her teeth so she can still be a prima ballerina with pristine teeth….FFS

Might not be any Bali holidays for quite some time if this is the case…..FFS

Well not for her anyway…..No FFS

This time next week I will be plonking my fat posterior in our private villa’s pool with a Bintang or 10….FFS

Month end at work…..FFS

Month end on a Friday……FFS

I hate month end at work…..FFS

We have our fundraiser tomorrow night to raise money for our rides, so Dayna, Julie an I are hoping the 90 odd people that are gracing us with their presence have wallets full of dosh....No FFS
Have a good weekend people and you may even get a FFS all the way from Bali next week, if the WIFI stretches out to the pool and beer lounge……NO FFS

Small Things Become Big Wins

Nothing exciting happening in my world the last week since I got back from Brisvegas, hence the lack of blog posts.  I suppose I crashed and burned both literally and figuratively speaking.  It took me all week to get back to myself due to lack of sleep over the weekend, plus the high that I was on.  That was to be expected I suppose.  In my time away from the blog I have noticed there are a few people that are struggling.  For what reasons, it will be different for each person, but what I have noticed is that for most of them they are all in the here and now.  This is okay to some extent as this is about you and what is happening to you now, whether it is you hitting a plateau, maybe putting on a few kilos, or simply tired and need to hit the reset button. 

I have been through this for the last 6 months, struggling to meet my expectations, wondering why I am not dropping weight like I think I should be and basically just heaping pressure on myself.  In the last few weeks, I have taken some time to really look back at where I started, what I have achieved, what is possibly holding me back and what could have happened.  I have also been looking through some old photos and find these the best motivation (not that I need any and I hate the word) to keep moving forward and setting new goals.  As you read through this you will see some of the photos of the old me and also the newer me (still a work in progress).

I am not claiming to know any more than the rest of us about losing weight and leading a healthy lifestyle, I am learning new things every day and still battling my own mindset demons, but I have learnt some things about myself along the way and one of those is to regularly look back and see how far you have come.  If this doesn’t make you proud or spur you on to continue chasing your dreams of becoming thinner, healthier, fitter, setting new PB’s, new achievements etc, then there may be some issues.  You may be at a point where you feel like you aren’t achieving anything.  Look back at previous occasions when it all go to hard and think about what the old you would have done.  For me, when I put a few kgs on last round, the old me would have just allowed that to balloon out to 20kgs and back to where I started from the numerous other times I had lost weight.  Now I am looking at what crazy physical challenge I can take on.

We are all far from perfect and we will stumble many times in this journey before we can walk without incident.  The key thing here is making sure that we continue to move forward and progress not regress.  Thankfully we have taken many photos of ourselves (Julie and I) in the 15 months we have been on this quest to become healthier, but not enough early on.  So if you are just new to the weight loss journey, as much as you probably hate the camera and we all did, take lots of photos so you have plenty of pictures to compare yourself to as you start to have small wins.  These will be far more beneficial to you when you think the scales are your enemy and these will also show you exactly what others are seeing and commenting on as you become the better version of yourself.

As much as I make regular fun of my wonderful selfie queen friends, Cathy, Sarah, Kate and Rebecca, they have provided me with a lot of wonderful photos of their befores, during and recents which constantly blow me away.  Whilst I am not the best at taking selfies, I have taken the odd one or two, but I have also managed to get a good supply of pictures that I can see the difference in.  So the morale to this little bit here is to make sure you take a truckload of photos, don’t shy away from the camera and learn to love it.  It is for your benefit.

None of the above is rocket science and I haven’t come up with anything mind-blowing, but sometimes we all need a gentle reminder that we are still doing amazing things.  We need to gain a little perspective, look at the changes we have made and accept the small wins, because all of these small wins add up to something huge even if you don’t realise it. 

As I mentioned, my last round I put on weight.  I still ran a half marathon, I still trained for it and my first bike ride of 6 this year.  I struggled with my nutrition, but exercise was good and I didn’t let it get out of hand.  To me that is a huge achievement compared to what the old Greg would have done.

So now I put it out to all the people who read this and may currently be struggling, or have been in the past.  Go through what you have done in that time, what have been your wins, what have you done that you would not have done in the past?  Have a look at your old photos and compare them to the new YOU.  Put them up for all to see so they can comment and celebrate your success.  Blow your own trumpet, be loud and proud.

Let me know what you have ACHIEVED, focus on the good and be happy about what you have done and where you are heading.    So hit me with it people, all the positives…….

1 Down 5 To Go!!!!!

Steve Jobs, founder of Apple and sadly a victim of cancer said something which I believe after this weekend to be profoundly true.

His quote highlights to me that those willing to try what most deem impossible or unachievable may just do it and in due course change the world.  Now I don’t ever profess to be able to change the world through anything I do, but I do believe that I can be a part of something big and profound and we will play our part in helping make a difference.

What the hell is this crazy man talking about you may ask?  Well as many of you are aware, I am part of the Vision Crusaders Grand Slam group.  We are cycling in all 6 rides around Australia and New Zealand to raise money and awareness for 6 different cancer research and treatment facilities in the hope that one of them will find a cure for cancer.  This weekend saw us all come together for the first time and take on our first ride to try and conquer cancer.  Please stick with me, this is likely to be a longish post, but as there was so much that happened and will stay with me for life I will try to convey to you all what it meant to us over the course of the weekend.

So Friday saw me head to Brisbane with 5 other Victorians to join our team mates in Brisvegas.  We were met at the airport by some of the local team members that had volunteered to pick us up and ferry us to our relevant places we were dossing.  Some of us were even crashing at their houses.  This was of course after we visited the race start so we could assemble and check in our bikes (gees it takes a while to put it all together.)  Then we all headed off to meet up with the rest of the bunch for a team dinner, get our new team jerseys and just get to know each other.  This was a fantastic way to get to know some of the team members eccentricities (this is what I will call it anyway) and prepare ourselves for what lay ahead.  Then after a lovely dinner on the Brisbane River it was time to go home (Thank you Royal on the Park Hotel for the free night) and try to get some sleep if possible before our big day.

There was not a lot of sleep to be had actually, but what we did get was solid.  The alarm went off at 4:30am and off we went to get ready and start our crusade.  We got to the start line, met up with our teammates and our bikes and were all having a chat, nervous energy filling the air from the 1500 riders taking part.  Now I knew that my lovely friend and adopted little sister, Kate Beck was coming to see me off, which really made it feel special.  It was 6am in the morning and she wanted to come and see me off because I was in her hometown and she knew my wife and kids weren’t there.  How amazing is that.  For this I will be eternally grateful.  BUT, add to that, Courtney Worthington came along as well.  Even better, but wait there’s more.  They made the most amazing sign for me (see below) and held it up as they walked up the hill towards me.  This was just too much and I feel a little teary sitting here writing this.  Of course everyone they walked past wanted to look and see who this was for.  This only drew more attention to us (which we would gladly and easily do ourselves over the weekend) and the warmth and friendship I felt here was incredible.  Not only did they make that sign, they had a mini version of it that I could take on my bike with me to look at whenever I wanted to.  I kept this on Bruiser (my bike’s name) the entire ride.  Add to this they gave me nine envelopes which had different messages that I could open at each stop.  One of them specifically for camp at the end of day 1 and then another at the finish.  I had no idea what was in them, but I put them in my pocket for the ride.  Funnily enough one guy asked me if that was my will in my pocket as we were riding.

The start of these rides is always an emotionally time when people remember why we are doing this.  Speeches are made by the institute/hospital you have supported, sponsors and also a rider/survivor.  In this case a young man who was doing the ride and blatantly said he was not sure how long he had.  This is when you certainly realise that what you are doing is more than a ride, more than raising money and more than most people understand.

We were all in a group and headed off after a big group hug, and I quickly made sure my lovely little sisters got a hug and a kiss.  By the way girls, my team mates think you’re sensational.  I was trying to introduce them to my team mate Troy Douglas (Cleo Bachelor of the Year finalist) but it was impossible. Sorry ladies, you will just have to come to Sydney for that one.  It was now time to ride and ride we did.  It was a huge relief to finally be on the road after 6 months of planning, but this is what it is all about.

Brisvegas put on some amazing weather for us, the crowds were out cheering and the pedals all turning.  We tried to stay together as much as possible, but with traffic lights, different levels of ability etc it wasn’t possible.  We did manage to catch up at each pit stop and have a chat, but soon went our own ways again so as to not rush anyone or stiffen up.  I was lucky to be riding with our team captain and the crazy man who came up with this idea all day.  Guess I am lucky I could keep up with the old man, or maybe he was just being kind to me.  Now I knew all along there were going to be some hills on this ride and whilst I have not trained on any hills, I was hoping my leg strength and cardio would get me through.  I got to the 85km mark and came across this wonderful part of the world called Pine Mountain.  This hill was not huge in length, but the steepness or gradient was a killer.  As per all the others during the day I attacked (my version of attacking it anyway) and up I went.  This hill was that steep that I was averaging 4.8kms per hour, so basically stopping.  I was halfway up the hill when I got a cramp in both thighs.  If you have ever had a cramp in the thigh you will appreciate how painful it is.  Having 2 is extremely shitty, especially when you use those muscles the most going up a hill.  I had 2 choices open to me.  Stop and walk up the hill, or suck it up and get there on the bike.  I had a split second to make the choice and at that moment all I could think of was my father in law and his battle against cancer.  It dawned me that he can’t just stop and get off when he feels like it because it is all to hard.  He can’t take the easy way out.  I wasn’t either.  I grit my teeth, let out a bit of a roar (scared a couple of ladies on my left hand side) and pushed.  At that point in time I dug deeper than any time in my life.  This is what these rides mean to me and everyone else doing them.  No hill was going to beat me this ride.  I did stop at the top and stretch but I wasn’t stopping part way up.

Thankfully it was only 5kms down the road to the next pit stop and a chance to hydrate, refuel with some food and have a good stretch.  This also meant we only had 20kms to go for the day.

Now this may be sounding good but this last 20kms had two of the bigger hills for the day in it and I was not looking forward to it at all with the thought of getting another cramp.  Thankfully when we got to them they were not steep like Pine Mountain, but long constant climbs.  This I did not mind as I just dropped Bruiser into granny gear and off I went at a constant pace.  When I got to the top of the second all I could see below me was Wivenhoe Dam and I knew it was only a few kms to go.  Klaus and I rode in together, considering we had ridden all day together it felt fitting to go across side by side.  Now the fun begins.

We quickly put the bikes to bed, grabbed our bags, found our tent and started to sort our stuff out.  Showered and changed and feeling human again the next stop was the bar for our free beer.  Sadly they only had XXXX Gold being in QLD.  But hey after 110kms even that crap didn’t go down that badly.  Slowly the rest of the team started to come in, get cleaned up and we had saved a table near the front for us all.  Kai (one of the crazy young guys and also owner of my tights, but more on that to come) had made a banner for us with our logo.  That was duly hung up on the end of our table.  Dinner was scoffed, more drinks consumed and then the speeches started.  The CEO of QIMR, whom had joined us at our table, made a speech and asked for all staff taking part in the ride to stand up.  He then mentioned each of them and what they were doing to fight cancer.  For us this was special because we are fortunate enough to have the amazing Ken Dutton-Regester as a member of our team who is a researcher for melanoma. When his name was called out all of us roared, cheered, applauded and some even stood on chairs and went a little nuts.  Why not as well?  These guys deserve some credit.  Then unbeknown to us the CEO decided to give us a mention, which caused us to go nuts again.

The night continued with some music and some more drinks before we all started to head off to bed as we had an early start and another long and taxing day ahead.

Day 2

4:20am (WTF????) I awake to some arsehole talking a few tents away. Well there goes that then. No sleep in for me, if you call 5am a sleep in.  I was up dressed, packed and ready to go by 5:30am only to be told that we were not allowed to leave due to a thick blanket of fog.  Police deemed it unsafe as we had to ride the first 30kms on the highway and visibility was down to 40m.  We were told it would be 1 hour, then it went to 2 hours and finally after 3 hours we were allowed to go.  I must admit that this delay allowed us to mingle with other riders and teams and get our story out there.  It also gave our resident trouble maker Matt the chance to strut his stuff in front of a crowd.  Mind you, his partner in crime Dani, didn’t need to be asked.  Both of them were out front of the thousand strong crowd bumping and grinding and entertaining.  They were joined by our teammate and event crew member Stephen.  Great show guys and what a laugh.  It also gave matt and Kai the chance to coerce all of the guys in our team to don Black Milk tights for the day.  Now this is a strange thing because to my knowledge these tights were for woman, but Kai and Matt live in them.  They even managed to have enough pairs with them for the entire team. So after a little while everyone was wearing a pair except Nicko.  He wants to make some money out of it.  Spoil sport. So see below for the bunch of misfits wearing tights.

Finally we were allowed out and under police escort for the first 30kms we rode along the highway free of traffic.  It was surreal riding along in a massive bunch like that.  After an hour or so the fog lifted and we were speeding along without the escort.  The sun came out, the temperature rose and we were on our way home.  We all stopped off at the various pit stops to refuel and have a quick few laughs about the comments we were getting regarding our tights and the praise people were heaping on us in relation to the quest to complete the grand slam.  I will admit it made me more determined to ensure I do it, knowing that it meant so much too so many people that we were trying to achieve this.  It is not only special to us, it appears that so many would like to join us but have reservations like we did about the fundraising.  We are not only doing this for our loved ones but for all cancer patients, survivors and families impacted.  That alone is inspiring enough to get the money needed.

So after 73kms we got the lunch stop.  My rear end was sore, but my feet were hurting more.  Pushing up some of those hills was having an impact on my feet, but also my shoulders and upper back.  The grip you need to work up the hills is just as bad as the grip you need going downhill at 60km per hour on those crappy bumpy QLD roads.  I sat down and took off my shoes and just wanted to stop.  Worst part was I still had 37kms to go.  We all agreed to meet up at the last stop and work out our strategy for the finish line.  We then decided to stop just short, group up and go across together.  So this is exactly what the Vision Crusaders did.  We rode up to the line to the cheers and applause of the crowd after the announcer mentioned we were coming. We stopped, all hopped off our bikes and walked across the line taking it all in.  There was family there to greet the locals, but we had mentioned earlier in the weekend that we were all one big family now and there were hugs, cheers, tears and beers shared after the ride and we were even lucky enough to meet the families of the local riders in our team.

After a group shot with the photographers, we all hung around chatting and sharing tails of one of the most amazing weekends of my life.  We are all so pumped that it is only 59 days until our next ride and even better, I will have my family at this one to share the experience.  Vision Crusaders is an amazing bunch of people and sadly this blog post can in no way put it into words adequately how proud I am to be in the team and share this with each and every one of them.  I have just made another 23 friends for life and I am sharing something with them that I doubt anyone will be crazy enough to try again, unless of course we back it up in 2014……..

FFS.....Just a Bit Early

FFS Friday in Advance……

I have missed the last 2 FFS Fridays and was castigated for it by the lovely Sarah at our liquid lunch on Saturday.  So this one is being done on Thursday night simply because I will be travelling to Brisbane tomorrow morning and will not be able to do it. 

I dare not upset Sarah again…..FFS

Last weekend was finale weekend which we all look forward to every 3 months….No FFS

Every time we go anywhere, the wife stresses about everything from packing, having food for my mum to feed our kids, housework being done, etc……FFS

This means her stress becomes my stress, as much as I try to deflect or ignore it….FFS

I am asked to ensure I have reminded my mum at least 3 times of the weekend schedule and organized everything with her….FFS

How about you pick up the f..king phone and speak to her yourself so you know it is done…..FFS

I had to bag all the team clothing for my Ride to Conquer Cancer team so it could be sent out, but thankfully my mum is a whiz and helped out….No FFS

Julie came home and we had the obligatory wine which meant a late night…..FFS

Up early and out the door to the airport, in peak hour traffic and the rain…..FFS

Parked our car at a new car park, from a Groupon special which was quite funny but weird at the same time. Expected to come back and our car be on blocks….FFS

Got to the aiport, met up with Julie’s BFF Sarah and her husband Ben…..No FFS

Ben was a cracking guy, so at least I had someone to have a few beers with this weekend and talk shit….No FFS

Had to listen to Julie and her anxious whining on the plane before we even took off…..FFS

The flaps on the wings were moving as we moved backwards from the gate, to which Julie announces, what the f..k are they drilling for.  I asked her where she thought the guy was sitting, on the wing?  We are moving…. FFS

Sat on the tarmac for 45 mins being delayed due to high winds….FFS

Found out that Sarah and Ben were hiring a car and going to the Barossa.  Julie and I had been invited but Julie forgot to tell me, so no go. What is that......FFS

Then they go to Maggie Beers and post photos for us to see.....Massive FFS

Got to Adelaide late, but the lovely Julie Trait met us at the airport and drove us into town.  Now why did a Victorian have to meet us?  Where were all the croweaters?.......Huge FFS

Obviously they were trying to find a taxi to come and pick us up (more on that later)…..FFS

Got to the hotel in the dead quiet Hindley St, checked in and went to our room which was stuck in the 60’s.  Seriously thought I was in the series Mad Men…..FFS

Thanks to the lazy arsehole that works on cleaning the room as well for leaving a half eaten tub of ice-cream in our freezer….FFS

We went to get some lunch in the CBD.  Do you think they have cafes in Adelaide CBD.  What century is this…..Nothing FFS

Ended up having lunch at some place that wasn’t decided whether it was a bar, nightclub, restaurant, or pokie venue.  Struggling to get up with the times….FFS

Must add though that food was good and Coopers Lager was sublime…..No FFS

Went back into Rundle Mall and found a new shirt and jacket for the 2 functions we were attending.  Best part was I only had to pay 1985 prices…..No FFS

Found a BWS in Rundle Mall, so stocked up for the weekend…..No FFS

Went to room had a couple of drinks and then headed out to pre-finale drinks to meet the rest of the 12WBT gang…..No FFS

Had a blast catching up with old friends, meeting new ones and having the support crew come along for a drink and meet and greet as well.   No FFS.

Myself and Amelia Burton on Friday night.

Left the venue, with Julie’s heel spurs seriously hurting her. Tried to hail a taxi, but none to be seen in the CBD on a Friday night…..FFS

Had to walk to the hotel with Julie in pain (even if it was only 800m) it wasn’t nice to see….FFS

Hindley street was just warming up & I had forgotten it was Adelaide's version of Kings St or Kings Cross.....FFS

Up the next morning to meet the 30+ crew for breakfast in our hotel…..No FFS

Ran the 3.5km to the workout with my buddy Bec…..No FFS.

Nearly made her spew, even better……No FFS

Had an awesome time at the workout, catching up with even more people new and old…..No FFS

Went to have a liquid lunch, oh and the burger you see below, with some buddies and a few laughs….No FFS

Said Burger....Best burger in a while.

Tried to call a taxi to take us back to the hotel to rest and get ready for the finale……FFS

Do they have any taxis in this joint?  Called twice and still none turned up…FFS

Managed to hail a taxi out of the blue…..No FFS

Taxi company send us a message to tell us our taxi was on its way….Thanks….FFS

Dirty stinking taxi driver drops his guts whilst we are in it…….FFS

Met up with Ben for a couple of quiet beers and a chin wag whilst girls had make up done….No FFS

Went to party, had a blast. More beer, food, laughs, photos etc…..No FFS.

 

Can you see the Ugg Boots?

BFF Shenanigans

Julie wore her ugg boots under her dress for most of the night to relieve pain in her heel spurs, gave everyone a laugh…..No FFS

Everyone came back to our room afterwards, all eating KFC, Why did we do that…FFS

Sat with a couple of buddies in my room until 1:45am laughing and joking. Not good when you are up early the next morning….FFS

Caught flight home and had to listen to some dumb bitch arguing at top of her voice on plane because someone took her overhead luggage space…..FFS

Very busy and exciting week getting prepared to go to Brisbane tomorrow for my first ride of the year….No FFS

Sir Richard Branson sent us a message today via his Blog, Facebook and Instagram wishing us luck and urging people to donate to our cause.  We have been trying to get him to join us, but this is great…..No FFS

So there is it, a huge week and weekend. Had a ball in Adelaide even if it was like going back in time.  Have a great weekend and a huge week next week people.

How Quickly We Forget....

After my post on Monday and the amazing feedback I received from my 12WBT buddies on both the forums and the facebook groups, I was reading back through some older posts and found the below post.  I thought it worthwhile just putting it out there again more so as a reminder to myself, but thought there might be some benefit for others, especially after so many said they were having similar issues as I did last round.  So once again, thank you to each and everyone one of you that took the time to either leave a comment on my blog, post a comment on facebook or the forums or even send me a personal message.  It was greatly appreciated and just further proof of why I love this program so much and the amazing support network we have created.  You all rock.

Here it is about Motivation:

1.    A quick check on the internet this morning gave me the below definitions of what motivation is:

2.     

3.    1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.

4.     

5.    2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

Reading these definitions tends it seems to fit in with what we have traditionally known as the definitions for motivation, but I beg to differ on this point.  When I started the 12WBT I would have said that my motivation for doing so was to lose weight, become healthy and generally happier.  This would fit in with the majority of those people in the program.  But is that really motivation?  Is motivation only used for positive actions?  This may sound a little askew but stick with me.

During my first round, one of Michelle’s weekly clips was about motivation and how she believed it was not what it was made out to be and it all comes down to mindset (I am paraphrasing here) which I listened to at the time but never really allowed to sink in.  This may have been due to the fact that I was in a really good headspace and flying with my weight loss.  So why am I thinking about it now?  As I have mentioned in numerous posts this round, I am in a funk, not travelling as well as I had hoped or expected and I have been trying to ascertain why.  Normally I would have said (in the past, the old me) that I was lacking motivation, but that is not true.  Surely after losing 24.5kgs in the first round and being on stage at finale I need no further motivation.  Seeing the results and receiving all the positive feedback should have spurred me on to continue.  That is exactly what happened and I came home from Perth determined to mash round 2 fulfilling both of the requirements above and obviously motivated.

This is where I believe Michelle’s words come true.  If motivation is a reason for acting or behaving in a particular way, why would I be motivated to take my foot off the pedal?  Whilst I have still managed to lose weight this round, albeit a third of what I did last round, I have still seen some old habits creeping back in which I am not happy about.  Why would I be motivated to allow this to happen?  I am not and don’t want it to be the case.  My point here is, that it is not motivation that makes us choose a certain path, whether it be to lose weight or to sabotage ourselves.  The reasons for acting in a particular way or supposedly our desire or willingness to do something or not do it are not down to motivation, it is down to the most powerful tool we have to correct these choices and behaviours.  This is probably the hardest battle in losing weight and staying on the right path.  This is all about MINDSET!!!! 

This in my opinion is what sets Michelle and her program apart from all other weight loss programs and this is what I am battling with at the moment.  Michelle frequently touches on how we need to work on our excuses, willpower, goals, robot mode, JFDI and why?  No other program makes you face your demons, understand why you are in this position.  They give you the food, the ethos and the books, but they don’t address why you are there in the first place.  If I had not heard this from Michelle I would still be making some excuse and stating that I lacked motivation.  Whilst I am aware of my issues and how they have hindered me this round, I am still trying to work out how to overcome them and get back to the ME from last round.  One of the biggest pluses for me has been surrounding myself with a lot of other 12WBTers whom are all amazing individuals and there as a huge support.  People like Dayna Manser and Bec Green that have been training with us and remaining positive even when I have openly told them I am struggling have helped me realise that it can and will be done and that I can get passed this.  On Saturday we had a workout out that was far from brilliant, but we still had a workout.  It was one step ahead of where I would have been if the old me had been there.  Then I see the encouragement and support I have had from online friends on the forums and facebook with words of encouragement after my 200km bike ride and I know I am heading in the right direction.  Add to this, I was totally blown away by some kind words and an entry in her vlog last week from Heidi Wilson (aka ToughMudder) who said I was one of support people and rocks in this program.  Surely not!!!  This lady is a true champion of this program, a role model for everyone and a winner in all sense of the word, but for some reason she has found me a help in the last 6 months.  Even when I am not travelling well I am somehow helping others, but now I need to make sure that I am doing the same for me.

After speaking to my wife yesterday and our recent blow out after our holiday, I want my mojo back.  I don’t need to be motivated as the definitions above explain, I just need to get off my arse and JFDI as I don’t need reasons for my behaviour to define who I am.  I have changed that mindset where I need a light at the end of the tunnel, now I know I can get up and take action, I just need to stop with all the excuses, and that is all they are and get back on the non fat wagon.

Look out round 4, I am going to smash you to pieces.  I want to be back on stage with a swagger and my mojo well and truly in tact.

This is What I need to Remember When I have my Doubts