Monday, 9 July 2012

Reality check time…….

If one thing this program has taught me is that I need to be monitoring all the time what I am eating, how I am training and not thinking I have everything under control.  If I had been able to master things so quickly surely I would have done it already and would not have allowed myself to spiral downward into the overweight lazy person I had become.

After completing 5 weeks of this program there are so many things that I have impressed myself with and can’t believe that I have learnt or completed.  For this I am truly grateful and will continue to use in my life moving forward to ensure I lead a much healthier and happy lifestyle.  I have found a love for exercise which I am shocked but glad it has happened and the benefits this has for my well-being and also the example it is setting for my 4 young children is worth more than money can buy.  I now realise the benefits of clean eating and portion control and that these foods can be used to produce amazing meals which my kids even ask to have again.  Finally, I have learnt that the only way these changes can be put in place and maintained for the long term is if I am prepared to make the mental changes to prevent them from collapsing and putting me back into the darkness I have escaped from.

All of the above sounds great and like I have found the answer to all my problems.  If this was the case and I was the master of my own fate (which I will be) I would have been able to do it in the past.  Not quite there yet it seems.  What has happened?  Why am I not able to make these changes without slipping up?  Simple answer to this is because I am human and I have had issues with food and exercise for over 20 years.  They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, I disagree, it just takes a little longer to reprogram the mind and get rid of the bad habits with the new ones I want to be put in place.
All of the above has come to me in the last week that perhaps I need to re-check what I am doing before I find out the hard way, by falling off the wagon.  My exercise has been really good and last week saw me break new ground on a couple of occasions.  Saturday even saw me set a new personal best of running 7kms non-stop.  OMG that hasn’t happened EVER!!!!  I couldn’t even do that when I was fit and playing football.  Well I could have I would say, but I was never able or willing to push myself that hard.  Another milestone I have achieved and a barrier I have pushed through.  Michelle always says the human body can do amazing things it is our mind that stops us.  I no longer let my mind tell me when I have done enough, my body will tell me.    Sadly it is my food that has led me to look at what I am doing and where I need to check if I am being 100% honest to myself and the program.  Now I have not had a binge or fallen off the wagon, but I have had a couple of minor moments where I have recognised that I am treading in dangerous waters.

What could this be?  Well I indulged twice this week with a couple of glasses of wine.  No big deal in the grand scheme of things as I am allowed to do it if they are within the calorie count for the day.  Well the first glass might have been.  Having 3 or 4 means I have not been strict enough.  Doing this twice in a week is a warning shot being fired over my bow of where I was and where I don’t want to go back to.  I also had some cheese, kabana and crackers whilst visiting my mum.  Probably not a bad thing but I know it is processed meat and I also know kabana was a weakness of mine.  So WHY DO IT????  What this highlights for me is that I still need to focus 100% of the time about what I am doing, where I want to go and how I am going to get there.  I thought I was prepared yesterday by taking my water bottle so I would not be tempted to have a beer, we went between meals so I would not be tempted, however it didn’t work out that way. 

I am glad this reality check came to me quickly and early so I can rectify the problems before they got out of hand and impacted my weight loss and training.   I have been working my backside off and the last thing I want to do is go backwards from silly errors and bad judgement when it could have been easily avoided.   

 Where do I go from here?  Well get back on the program and make sure I am doing what Michelle says 100%.  It has worked so far and allowed me to lose over 12kgs, so stop messing around with it.  Don’t go near the crap food, get away from the wine and make sure that you have gone back to preparing lunches and meals in advance.  If I want to succeed to the best of my ability now and in the future have faith that I have been able to do it the last 5 weeks and I can and will be able to continue so that I am the best person I can be both physically and mentally.
No matter how far this journey takes me, I now know there will be challenges put in front of me which I will need to tackle head on.  The alternative is to go back to the fat unhealthy me and nobody especially me wants that.

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